Today is Sunday, a day of the week that we have chosen to set aside as the Lord's Day. Yes, we may do some things today that are mundane and are intended to make us "happy", but it is a day that we take some time to ponder our condition and what God has done for us and is doing in us.
First, some background...
Just over one month ago, I found out that I was about to lose my job at Texas Instruments after a tenure of 22 years and 7 months. While I obviously think that TI made a real mistake in choosing me (among another 3000 or so people) to RIF (Reduction In Force), I know from experience that God has greater purpose for me and my family than building semiconductor "chips"...
Part of this "purpose" is certainly some occupation that is yet ahead of me, but part of this purpose is the journey itself. Many years ago, I came to understand that life is a series of seasons. I have worked for TI for a "season" that lasted nearly 23 years, and now I am about to begin a new season, and that may last 23 days, 23 months, or possibly another 23 years. The "purpose" is not so much the job that occupies the season, but it is the season itself and moving from one to another...
Some background might help you understand the significance of this particular "change of seasons" in our lives...
My wife, Dawn, and I have been married for just over three years. Between us, we have three teenagers living with us. This is a difficult time, but all five of us have been through more difficult trials...
Dawn and I were both married and widowed before we ever met each other. Both of us were trusting in God before He saw fit to lead us through the "valley of the shadow of death". That phrase of the 23rd Psalm has a whole new meaning for us today... I used to think it was about the person who had some illness or accident and then passed away. Well, there are certainly aspects of the passage that would apply to the person who faces death and then does pass away (as we all will one day), but I have come to see another meaning in those words... In losing my first wife, Nancy, I have walked through a valley where I really lacked much of any purpose in life (yes, my children needed me to love and care for them). And, I have continued on out of that valley of the shadow of death still in this fallen world with my own flaws that plague me, not to mention the evil in the world around us. And, yet, one day, I will "dwell in the house of the Lord forever" as He has promised.
So, while losing my job is truly devastating, I know that God's grace is sufficient -- because I've experienced His grace in devastating times. Because of that, I can honestly say that He will carry me through this trial...
Dawn and I have been living in Tennessee (which is the dream of many), but we also would like to be closer to our families (who are spread from the North East to the Mid West and to the South East), and so we embarked on a journey to buy land in central Ohio and build a home where I could continue to work from home (as I had for 15+ years while working for TI). We had just closed the construction loan in July of last year and had construction moving when the housing market began to crash in September. Of course, we will need to sell the house in Tennessee after we complete the house here in Ohio.
We watched as the banking system of the country and world became more and more unstable and the stock markets followed suit.
Humanly speaking, there could not have been a worse time for me to lose my job.
Dawn and I are still really "living" in Tennessee, but I have been renting a small apartment in Ohio while overseeing the building of the house, and so we spent some time last year looking for a new church home, and we have settled on Faith Baptist Church in Kenton, Ohio.
This morning, I was challenged as I listened to Pastor Burns preach about some of God's possible purposes for allowing a recession. One of the reasons he listed is that God may be wanting to cause His church to "care".
Tears came to my eyes as I considered that part of the purpose of me losing my job at this "worst of all possible times" is and has been God's own plan.
In the few weeks since we started telling the pastor and people at the church about our situation, we have received countless boxes for Dawn to use in packing, we have been loaned a refrigerator to have at the house until we can get our refrigerator moved (or just buy a new one), and this morning, we were offered the use of a 26 foot travel trailer so that I could get out of my apartment, saving that much money between now and when we complete the house here.
Not only is God using us as the "people in need" to test AND PROVE His church here in Kenton, Ohio, and yes, they have already passed this test -- they have cared and do care -- even though some of them have also either been laid off or have lost their own jobs.
At the same time, God is testing our trust of His promises to provide for us. In testing our trust, He is also causing us to consider what is a want and what is a need. He may not ask us to give up this "dream home" that we have long awaited and are working hard to complete, but He does ask us to be willing -- Jesus himself put it best, "nevertheless, not my will, but THINE be done"... Consider that Jesus is God, and yet He yielded His own will to His Father's will (as He faced the cross)! Does God ask any less of me than to yield to His will?
And, this reminds me yet again that this "dream home" is not the mansion that He has for me! He has gone to prepare a place, and He will come again to receive me unto Himself! This "dream home" is just a temporary (and very imperfect) dwelling place -- while we wait for the real mansion! I say "me" to personalize it, but obviously, this applies to my wife and children as well (since they also know Jesus as their Saviour), and you could put your own name in there as well...
We don't know what the next "season" of our lives holds, and we really don't know if God will allow us to stay in our new "dream home". We pray that He will, but we must be willing to give up whatever He asks of us... If He asks us to give up this "dream home", then it will be because He has something better for us -- remembering that "better" may or may not be in monetary value or size, but it will certainly be in the center of His will...
And so, my response after pondering these things can only be one thing -- Lord, please allow me to find a job and allow us to complete and live in our new home -- "nevertheless, not my will, but Thine be done"!
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